Do you ever think about what it would be like to be free of your eating disorder? Can you picture your life without it? Do you imagine all the things you could do if the eating disorder no longer got in the way?
When I was anorexic, I had a hard time picturing my life with without the eating disorder. In fact, there were times that I was even afraid to think of being without it. I couldn’t imagine what would take its place. On the other hand, I wanted to have more time and energy to devote to being there for others. The eating disorder limited me in that regard since I was so down and discouraged plus the fact that eating disorder recovery took so much of my time and attention.
Once I did break free of my eating disorder, I learned that freedom was nothing to fear. Freedom gave me peace and joy, freedom renewed my hope, freedom helped me be more comfortable around others again and freedom allowed me to see myself through God’s eyes. Freedom helped me become a more positive person who is healthier both inside and out. Freedom also gave me more time, energy and opportunities to be there for others.
What about you? What are the areas in your life where you dream of the absence of the eating disorder? Or is the idea of freedom so distant that you have a hard time thinking of what it will be like?
Imagine how freedom from your eating disorder will positively affect you in these areas: family relationships, friendships, school or work. Think of what it would be like to attend a family gathering, a wedding or a night out with friends without the eating disorder tagging along. Picture yourself clothes shopping or doing something recreational without being bothered by the eating disorder. Imagine what it would be like not to have to hide your eating disorder from teachers, other students, your boss or co-workers.
Think of what it would be like to go to appointments without worrying about the number on the scale. Imagine looking at yourself in the mirror and being okay with what you see. Picture yourself happy and at peace.
Dream of freedom from your eating disorder. Write down your dreams or illustrate them by sketching or some other art form. Keep these dreams close by so you can remind yourself of them during the challenging times. Keep them alive in your heart by doing your best in your recovery. Don’t stop dreaming until your dreams comes true. Then live your dream with peace and joy in your heart.
By Laurie Glass